Recently I had the great pleasure to interview my good friend and spiritual brother Rob Wilson on my radio show. The topic was overcoming the fear of success. Past successes and failures flooded my mind like a tsunami.
I remembered being a little girl at the ocean with my family. My Dad rented a cottage every summer and we spent long days in the sun and sand. We brought our little dog 'Bow". I can see him running along the water's edge in the recesses of my mind.
He would bark at the waves, as I stood there in watching the sun come up with my father and brothers. I can remember my breath being taken away by the ocean wind.
The day would start off when the sun came up. We'd all have breakfast as the heat of the day arose with the sun in the sky; We spent the greater part of the after noon exploring things found between rocks and crawling in large strands of tall stiff ocean grass. I believed my brothers to be the strongest smartest brothers in the universe. I still call myself their 'biggest fan'. I believe in them because of all I learned about them in those days. We played and explored together, while I was learning about who I was, and who they were, and thy were doing the same.
One particular 'success' came to mind while I was interviewing my good friend Rob. I have a scar on my abdomen, left there I think just for this day and lesson. Acquired on such a sun lit summer beach day.
As the waves rolled against the shore and the tide came in, two older brothers would hold my hands to steady me while I jumped into the waves. They would hold onto my my hands and the wave came in, lifting me off off my feet. The security of the sand beneath my toes disappearing, leaving the option for little fishes to swim by and tickle my toes. On the mornings we spent on the cape in those ocean waters, the option of a random jelly fish sting was always there too, to add excitement to the experiences. There was so much to fear in the ocean, when I was six. I could face it all with my brothers by my side. That fear brought the advent of the ocean thriller JAWS one summer, though. By the time the movie came out I was a pretty good swimmer. We had a pool in the back yard and at 8 I could hold my own against most 14 year old kids in swimming. We often balanced on floats while the strongest swimmer played "Shark" trying to tip the others off the rafts and 'eat them'.
There I stood at the turn of high tide, between my two older brothers, crying. I was about 8 years old. I had been to the ocean many times and played the "Jump in the Waves" game; but after watching JAWS, that summer at the drive in; I was afraid. The confidence that I could swim out in deep waters and stay afloat long enough for help to arrive, which was once so important, was now a mute point. Out beyond the waves, in the safety of the floating, I described my fear "a shark could jump up with no provocation, just and eat me, and nobody can stop him."
When they figured out the problem, my father swam out beyond the waves break, to assure me that if I got dragged out there he would get me. My little brother stayed on shore with the dog in tow so the two older ones could 'cure me of my phobia' and pay close attention to holding on to me and fighting off the sharks without worrying about him; besides he could run for help if the shark was getting us. Such drama that little girls commonly cause, proving heroes of boys. I got over my phobia and shortly after there was some 'play' as my father pretended to be eaten by a shark and my brothers jumped into the excitement of possible being proven heroes in a bigger way.
My fear of success in swimming past the waves was over come by the knowledge that my father was there to protect me on the other side, and that my brothers were by my side, holding my hand and urging me on.
I believed then and now, that I was lucky to have them. To be loved by them, and free to love them as much as I wanted. That day I became their biggest fan.
The stronger a swimmer I became, the more responsibility I took for first myself, and then for holding my younger brother's hand. Until one late summer day we were at the beach at high tide. The waves slammed in a thunderous roar against the sand as my younger brother and I finished our bologna sandwich and plum lunch. Recognizing the danger we stayed close to the shore and dug for clams we could see breathing in the sand. When we were good and sand-soiled, sunburned and ready to cool off we went carefully to the waters edge to clean up and end the day. A large wave scooped me up and dragged me under the water. I tried to scream for help and got a belly full of the salty water. I swam with all my might, but it was futile. I gave up, and accepted my fate. Releasing myself to the current I let my body go with the flow. The wave tossed me about and scraped my tummy across a concrete post before it threw me back on shore all bloody, crying and water logged. That three minutes of being 'beat up by the undertow' as I later referred to it, taught me to take neither loss, nor victory for granted.
The knowledge that I could swim, that good swimmers were around me, that my boy scout brothers could serve shark for dinner in my honor, and that I was an expert 'floater' gave little comfort and was of no use. I understood that, of all the people I knew, and of all the times I knew they had been in the water, the chances of this ever happening to another person, or to me again was slim. To my knowledge, I alone bear the scar of such a day in those waters. Understanding the odds gave me little confidence against the unexpected oddities of life circumstances though, and I bear many scars now. I've learned to wear them with honor. They are constant reminders that teach me to appreciate everything and everyone, taking nothing for granted. It is my unique experiences that brace me for the unexpected, as yours are for you.
This understanding should not stop us from swimming, playing in the sand, making new discoveries and floating with the current when we feel like it. It should cause us to have courage to rise up and recognize the things in ourselves and others that we love, respect and admire.
Cheer for the successes of others, spread appreciation and honor in place of the lust that has filled our hearts and minds to an over flowing. Stick close to the ones that are close to you and believe in one another. Discover your days naturally, facing your challenges as they come and bearing your scars with pride. Whether you swim, float, or let the current take you, remember to stop an play, and if you love it, swim anyway.
Lucy Diamond
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Lou Ann Diamond
Producer/Promoter/Inspirational Leader
Choice Treasures
781-325-GLOW
Founder ~ Intuitive Life Network Org
ILNRadio ~ host/program manager/director
~Productions~
TV ~ Just For Today show, CTM 8 10:30 am wed.
Web Cast~ Live with Lucy ~ Sat 7 pm EST
Radio~ ILNRadio ~ Monday 3 pm EST Live only on Para-X
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